10 better endings to LOST

Okay, I know probably a lot of people are doing these right now, but I figure, what the hell.

Without further ado (which is something the LOST writers never would write…):

  1. The island’s events were the imaginings of a boy gazing into a snowglobe.
  2. “Call my name, Bastian. Call my name!”
  3. Jack wakes up in a pod filled with fluids and realizes he is cerebrally linked to a network of other humans whose mental energies are being used to fuel a post-singularity, machine-dominated world.
  4. An aged and atrophied Hurley sits in a boat far out at sea with no land in site, muttering to himself about baseball and snacking on a raw tuna.
  5. Caprica Six turns to Baltar and says, “Damn it, now we have to start all over again.”
  6. The shark was very hungry that season.
  7. Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley are sentenced to a year in jail and fill the time with banal conversation about shirt buttons.
  8. The man in black fled across the ocean and the gunslinger followed.
  9. “Rosebud” is the name of the sled that brought Jacob’s adoptive mother to the island.
  10. Key minor characters die, and the island sinks into the Hellmouth giving the survivors who escaped at the last minute a deep sense of loss, frustration and inevitability mixed with hope and the will to survive in a vicious and confusing world that is nonetheless worth saving.
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