I wrote a list for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency called Shameful Plugs. It’s pretty funny. Especially the last one. But it’s only funny if you read them all in order. There’s something ascendant — or, perhaps, descendant — about the sequence.
This is my second list published at McSweeney’s. The other is my rather popular list of Common Sense Solutions to Alt-Pop Song Problems. I say “rather popular” because it has more than 1.4k Facebook likes. That’s a lot for a McSweeney’s list, just saying.
I’ve submitted a few other lists over the last three years, but none were accepted. Let’s see, I had a “Top 10 Better Endings for LOST,” and then there was the list of “Safety Tips.” Oh, I also had “Declarations of Independence.” Those will not be making public display, at least, not until my biographers get a hold of them after I die and they hack into my gmail account. They were rightfully rejected.
One that I wish they had taken was my list of movie quotes translated into Elizabethan English. I went ahead and published them on this blog as What bespoken images art these?” in honor of the Bard. You’re welcome, Earth.
Incidentally, McSweeney’s also rejected my retelling of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe as a Twitter feed. (I submitted as a feature, not a list.) I don’t blame them. It’s sometimes difficult to see genius in the moment.
I feel that I’ve protracted this exegesis on lists as much as one can protract such an exegesis. Enjoy the list.