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About six months ago, my daughter started going to an orthodontist based on a recommendation from her dentist. My initial reaction was somewhat skeptical — she’s only nine, surely she doesn’t need to see an orthodontist yet — but after the requisite lecture about how bad of a parent I would be to allow my daughter to suffer the indignity of slightly crooked teeth, I relented.
I had to get braces when I was about eleven and wore them for nearly two years. They sucked. But more than the braces themselves, I remember my trips to the orthodontist. It was one of those we-really-are-medical-professionals-even-though-we-operate-out-of-a-house practices, which I’ve always found a bit sketchy. Give me a good office park any day of the week, thank you very much.
The experience wasn’t wholly unpleasant, as far as such things go, I suppose. What pre-teen (I refuse to use the term “tween”) doesn’t like flipping through Highlights in the waiting room and listening to Paul Harvey while the doctor adjusts the tension on your bands? And let’s not forget the enthusiasm of the assistant who always seemed about two seconds away from taking an early break so she could step out back for a quick smoke. Okay, let me take it back: Visiting the orthodontist did suck.
Contrast that with my daughter’s experience. For one thing, her orthodontist’s practice is located in a nice, well-kept, appropriately lighted office building. For another, all the people who work there seem to genuinely enjoy their jobs — they even dress up on holidays! And as a divorced father, I can’t help but notice all the office workers and assistants are attractive women who are clearly patients as well (cue the Orbit ding! complete with unnaturally white smiles), which only makes you wish Halloween came quarterly instead of only once a year.
Furthermore, the kids have their own waiting room, which let’s face it, is a treat for all involved. Get there a few minutes early? No problem! My nine-year-old can play video games, watch TV or read about Justin Bieber’s latest escapades in — oh, I don’t know, is Tiger Beat still around? Color me green, the jealous kind, not the environmental kind.
As if that’s not enough, last night they had a customer appreciation night at a local indoor soccer place. Let me restate that: My daughter’s orthodontist held a customer appreciation night! Food, soft drinks, games, balloon art (my six year old came away with a balloon sword, complete with balloon hilt, and a balloon penguin), bouncy things that used air compressors to keep them inflated. Even I was so distracted that I only wondered once or twice what percentage of the evening’s activities my co-payments had funded.
If there is accomplishment in this world, it is in making the orthodontic experience so enjoyable that you just want to wear braces forever. My oldest daughter certainly doesn’t seem to mind it. Next thing you know, her little sister is going to start complaining about how straight her teeth aren’t just so she can get in on the fun.
