humor

Will
Literature

What bespoken images art these?

In April did the Avon Bard appear, and in that self-same month did he depart whilst sun shone bright with ever-fulsome sneer and Springtime dallied chill as boggler’s art. Today, we halt anon and dream awhile to make our vulgar speeches simular, frail trump’ries though they prove to be, and smile in epilogue to his

Dead Twinkie
Literature

The Day the Twinkie Died

Really not that long ago I can still remember how that pastry used to make me smile And I know if I had one more In its wrapper it would store And maybe I’d have no cravings for awhile But those confectioners made me shiver With every picket sign they quivered Bad news on the

Literature

Tragedy of the ephemeral witticism

Today while working on a story, a little witticism popped into my mind. It was a throwaway play on words sired by an overheard conversation between some women (specifically about a book they were discussing) sitting nearby and the name of a person connected with an organization I am particularly familiar with. It was not

Literature

10 better endings to LOST

Okay, I know probably a lot of people are doing these right now, but I figure, what the hell. Without further ado (which is something the LOST writers never would write…): The island’s events were the imaginings of a boy gazing into a snowglobe. “Call my name, Bastian. Call my name!” Jack wakes up in

Literature

A to-do list 15-20 years too late

I’m pretty stoked – I had a list published today at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency titled Common Sense Solutions to Alt-Pop Song Problems. I got the idea while listening to Matchbox 20’s song “3 AM” at 7 in the evening. I was eating the Chicago Classic at Uno’s. The line “the clock on the wall has

Literature

The sunny side of brotherly love

I just finished watching the first two seasons of the FX situation comedy It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and I have to say it’s absolutely fantastic. Quirky and irreverent, it’s what you’d taste if you took the banter of Ed, the setting of Cheers, the pointlessness of Seinfeld, the offensiveness of The Family Guy, and

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